Alcohol vs Scientific Research


Recently, a fellow blogger, Mr. What Ho made a nice gesture by asking me to do a guest blogpost on his super-famous humor blog (which I find truly comic), and I had two pieces for him, one is on his blog now and the other is here (it's an old post written a few months ago). I like the idea of doing guest blogging on other blogs (so contact me if you want me to write for you) but it becomes awesome when you're doing it for an upcoming author


I was at this giant conference a few days ago where I learned the unique symbiosis between alcohol and research. No kidding. Believe me or not, it's true. But yes, your mommy might not like this fact. 

My purpose at the conference was to acquaint myself with the current state of the art research and listen to as many presentations as possible. And like a good and sanskari kid, I've been staying away from alcohol, parties and similar shit. Turned out, staying sober may not be the best thing to do in Amreeka. 

So there was this nice young professor who was discussing his research with me, and I like a sincere graduate student was appreciating his intellect. And that's when he turned all weirdo, 

"So Tanya, what are you doing this evening?

"Uhmm? (Insert awkward expressions and inarticulate sounds a socially inadequate being could produce)"

"Well, there's a party organized by __ organization. There's gonna be free food, and free drinks too. Would you like to join? WYQ Conference is all about drinks."  

I was then in this quandary to say yes or no. Saying an immediate yes might have sounded desperate and an immediate no a bit rude. And also, I didn't have any party dress with me. My European friend had advised me to bring a piece or two but I am good at ignoring good advice. So I paused and reflected, but eventually said a yes, calming my conscience with the notion that my motivation to go to the party was only food, and nothing else. 

I accompanied the guy and found the party to be horrible. No free food at all! Liar, that bloody...Only drinks! How useless are unlimited margaritas for a person like me! In a small suite, 30 people were packed in darkness, drinking and smoking like the world's coming to an end. In about 30 seconds, I said goodbye to the professor and ran back to my own room, while on my way I dodged several lovely ladies dressed in golden gowns as they were scattered randomly all around the five star hotel the conference was organized at. 

I went to sleep after planning the next day's research sessions I was going to attend, when after a couple of hours the European friend I was sharing the room with, entered our room, mouthing expletives. She was heavily drunk and was staggering on the floor while undoing her high heeled sandals. She looked quite skimpy tonight and I slightly felt jealous of the life she was having at this conference: going to several parties every night, drinking heavily, dancing, rejecting cute guys, being happy overall. And then she started muttering something, which made me feel a lil bad first, but it countered the jealousy feeling I had before and I guessed that staying sober and nerdy wasn't that bad after all. 

"I hate these fucken old men. They keep staring at my goddamn legs. I want people to like me for what I am, not for my, my..." and then she passed out on the bed. 

And I went back to sleep, wondering if I'll be able to attend the next morning 8 AM paper presentation session. Some big shot from MIT was coming to present. 

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Current Book: "The Portrait of a Lady" by Henry James
Current Music: "Call me maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen
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5 comments:

RAHUL MIGLANI said...

Enjoy !

Shreya said...

Oh well...you know...there is always a middle path. You and your friend both feel like extremes. Sometimes happiness is at the center! ;)

Tanya said...

@Shreya, ;D

Srini Chandrasekharan said...

Hi Tanya, thanks for writing for What Ho! Much appreciate it. Do plan to follow your writing. And please do keep writing. cheers. Mr. What Ho!

Tanya said...

^^ ow that's awfully kind of you!

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