So as the day of escape(an illusion?) approaches near, I look forward to my expectations getting fulfilled.
|This is totally me. Ofcourse. Stop zooming now.|
So yes, as my mommy packs up my entire room in two and a half huge bags (not really as huge as compared to my peers, but huge as per the villager standards), I sit here, trying to remember what all I expect from the land of the opportunities..
1. Full time electricity/power?
Last night there were quite a few nice power cuts in my sad village. One for three hours and other small-small of two hours in the day. It's really nice when you have something important to do on your computer, electricity is not there and you can happily skip off that work and besides its true than when electricity goes off at night, you are not able to clearly see other people or things, but then again, bumping into someone or something, or furniture which has hard/pointed edges/corners in the middle of the night is also yet again another awesome experience which sadly the citizens of developed nations like US can hardly experience and so having power cuts is kinda great but still I wish in US there will be full time electricity.
2. Unlimited Internet?
In my village (remember every time I say village, I am not limited to the actual village I live in, half of the times, village = India) Internet is kinda quite slow. If I have to watch a video on youtube, I have to place a order first (open the link and allow to buffer) and then go have dinner, sleep etc and then come back to find that the video I wanted to see is finally fully loaded! Yay! (not to mention if a power cut happened all in this while, then your loaded video is gone and you back to square one. Congrats) But yes there are some companies which give faster internet and your video can buffer fast-fast, but then the download limit will be there which is kinda not cool, if you want to download a huge amount of data, sooner or later you will exceed that limit and your daddy will have to pay for your bills and perhaps your daddy will then slap your face or kick your ass whatever he spots first and so although I will miss all this very much, I expect US to have unlimited and ultra fast internet.
I kinda have a myth or something that writers need some addictive coffee on their table to continue to write shit. I mean I am able to write shit anyway all the time. But wouldn't it be cool if I write shit AND drink coffee? Then I can always blame the coffee for the shit I wrote.
"Hey coffee sissy, its you making me write such bad stories n shit, screw you!"
Would be so cool. And in my village, I don't get good real addictive coffee. All here I can get is some packed shit that doesn't even make me feel high. I have heard in US, coffee has a good variety and too much of it can really screw your life OR writing. SO I kinda expect that to happen.
Yeah, freedom is what is all about. I am not talking about the freedom to urinate or spit in public, that kinda freedom you can only have in my village. I am talking about other kinda freedom. You know? Freedom to live your life without any weird stares from people around you. Although I have lived in that freedom most of the time of my shitty life but it would be cool if other people like family, friends, dragons, demons, cats, dogs, mosquitoes, houseflies, bacterium stop bothering me by their dangerous glances they make whenever I do something new.
Hmmm, so that's what its all about. More or less. Can't remember more, but yeah there are plenty more. I think I should go brush now. Or perhaps take a bath. Or maybe none of them and fool around on the Internet with a foul breath in my mouth and few bacteria on my body and waste my day, as usual.
Anything you feel like saying, anything, any expectation you (reader) may have when going somewhere (or US or any country or any village for that matter) or anything that is entirely not related to the above post but not limited to dragonflies or zombies, you are welcome to comment.
I am not in a very cheerful mood as I write this. This is a post out of stress, worry, fear and mostly regret.
Yes its more of a saying rather than a rule but I like to thrust this rule upon everyone I meet and try to tell them that it IS the secret of success. There is nothing simpler than focusing towards your one goal when it comes to mantras of success.
But the bloody irony of this is that I almost always fail to follow my own rule. I don't focus on my love. I do it though, in fact I give it my highest priority and highest amount of hours in a day. But then in the remaining time I am like, "Oh I should do this and that and this and that! And that too! That, yes I am going to learn and experience of course after I get a time slot free in my schedule."
Because perhaps somewhere inside I am weak. And afraid. Like everyone else who can't focus on one thing and put all the eggs in one basket. Because we all, are afraid to take such a big risk. We can't afford to make this big an investment and are afraid, "What if even I do everything I can and still fail?" "What if it wasn't the thing for me?" "What if it doesn't work out?" "What if I don't have any plan B to switch back if all else fails?'
And so I will make every day of my life a struggle. Every day I will try to put as much into as much I can find. I continue this for a few days. I kinda do well in some of the stuff. I feel happy. And then, suddenly it hits me. BAM. MY body gives away. My mind is never, ever ready to give it up. But my poor body does. It gives up of the torture I put through it. Of the sleep and rest I steal from it. Of the calmness and relaxation I never give it. I land in the bed, trying to figure out why don't I follow my own rules. . .
And the story repeats itself over and over and over again.
This is not the first time, I have got screwed up. I have got these medical conditions plenty of times in the past. I am a carrier of enough diseases already. And it seems if I go at this pace, I will keep on pouring flaws into my health till the pitcher is full and ready to burst.
But yeah, one another rule that I would like to tell you is, "If you feel you are screwed up inside, go ahead and see a doctor. They are amazing folks you know. Don't be lazy or stuff, just go."
Its another rule of mine which I often break. Two days back I was like, "Ohk I am fine, I am fine". But today I mustered up myself and finally went to my doc. And the meeting was really, really relaxing. Seriously as I said, doctors are amazing folk, they take your worry away.
So after the doctor has done the diagnosis and given the prescription and assured me I will be fine in a few days, he is like:
"What's your age?" asked the wise doc with a curious glare in his eyes.
"Uhm, 21" said I, rather casually.
"Hmmm its nothing to worry about. Though, you know, your body should kinda work till at least next 9 years. Problems should be arising after 30, not before that. But anyway, you will be fine."
I kinda feel a bit weird as I exit his door and kinda relieved that the issue isn't as big I had thought but somehow I feel it is. Because then I remember that old pundit that has told my mom that I will get a lot in my life, riches, success etc etc and some other things which he was true about, but kinda I will be down at 30. Yes, bloody 30. Not that I believe in the astrology shit, but still 30 is way too early to go down on bed.
And then I remember my dad too, who often says to me that he is worried about my health etc and wants me to live for 100 years and live a very healthy life. (Backstory: I hardly, hardly take care of myself and he kinda knows this fact well). And then I tell him proudly, that "Dad, I don't want a good length in this life. Just a good breadth. That's all."
Although right now, I kinda feel different. So I will just shut up, take my pills and lay down on bed as I hope I get enough length in this screwed up life. Not 100 of course, but perhaps average please? lol ;p
SO, what do you think dear reader (if any ;p)? Do you believe in these rules? Does life's breadth matters more to you than the length?
So guys and gals, here I am back with a bang!
I did this post's Part I here and now I am going to do the Part II. Why the part II now? Why not later or earlier? Because:
1. Obviously I was busy with other crappy stuff and Visa Interview etc.
2. I maintained my losing streak in yet another short story contest which reminds me how much I suck at writing and how much I need to improve. Perhaps this post will help me out more than it helps you :P So if you are here for your daily dose of crap, perhaps this is not for you. Yeah, if you wanna be a writer etc, read on!
Disclaimer: Following is a serious attempt to clean the image of my blog which has apparently dropped to a lewd and satiric level.
So I ended my Part-1 by covering up the quotes in the first half of the book On Writing By Stephen King. Following are the awesome quotes from the second part. These quotes are much more oriented towards "writing".
"You cannot hope to sweep someone else away by the force of your writing until it has been done to you."
(This phenomenon of actually loving your own work has been rather scarce with me. Whatever I write, after a few days, it begins to stink. It doesn't kinda sweeps me, so I guess I have a lot to learn yet).
"You have to read widely, constantly refining (and redefining) your own work as you do so."
(Every time I read a new book, I can feel my overview and knowledge towards writing growing.)
"If you don't have time to read, you don't have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that."
"Waiting rooms were made for books - of course!"
(I remember those 10 minute breaks between my lectures at college in which I tried to scoop some pages from a book. And when a teacher went missing for an entire lecture, I used to be like, "Wow. Entire 1 hour? Where's the empty bench in the play ground? Must get my ass there and read the novel.)
"The more you read, the less apt you are to make a fool of yourself with your pen or word processor."
(Frankly speaking, I have read nothing in my life when I see the number of classics that exist out there...must reach for them...someday...)
"And if you do your job, your characters will come to life and start doing stuff on their own. I know that sounds a little creepy if you haven't actually experienced it, but it's terrific fun when it happens. And it will solve a lot of your problems, believe me."
(I had heard this clichéd point almost endlessly from every author/writer giving advice to newbies. Since two years I thought this to be load of crap. How the hell can characters be real? They are bloody fictitious. But a week back, I felt this. I really, really felt this phenomenon. One of my character did stuff on his own. On his own, baby. And since then I believe it. You won't believe it till it happens to YOU, so watch out.)
"You can't please all the readers all of the time; you can't please even some of the readers all of the time, but you really ought to try to please some of the readers some of the time. I think William Shakespeare said that."
"Writing is not life, but I think that sometimes it can be a way back to life."
"The scariest moment is always just before you start. After that, things can only get better."
"Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it's about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well."
So basically that's about it. Writing down these quotes made me go through the book once again and I ended up reading some beautiful para's. In fact I wont be wrong if I say that every goddamn line in this book is a quotation worth quoting.
I am glad if I helped you in your writing career and sorry if I bored you to the core (which I am sure I did). But it's okay, you chose it. You brought this ordeal upon your poor soul yourself. You clicked the goddamn link.
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