When I am happy, my eyes are moist.
No matter how cold or careless I pretend myself to be, emotions do flow. I would often tell myself, that I do not care or am not just that poor emo creature. It may be true that in some aspects and towards some fields, I may be cold and emotionless, but when it comes to some things which I really care about, it's hard to be cold. Things, which I love.
Those things, they can make you cry or laugh. But they do affect you. And that's what most important. Today one of those things has touched me, made me smile, made me cry. It's ironical though, how these two opposite states of emotion can exist in parallel, but they do. Rather, they did. You have seen that a lot in movies and drama. You probably have yourself gone through this as well.
But I, I have felt that today. Not that it's the first time, but yes, it is one of those strongest times.
When I am happy, I am excited. Enthusiasm flows beyond control. Right from the accelerated heartbeat to your trembling hands, it flows. If you try sleeping this state, it's not really possible. Because when you close your eyes, there is no darkness to lull you down to deep slumber.
There is only light.
There is motivation, hope and joy. The source of your happiness keeps revolving in your head. It doesn't stop. Maybe that's why many people drink in these circumstances. And rightly so, they say, they want to numb their emotions, to calm that excited state. But okay, I am not resorting to any such means to subdue this awesome stuff going on with me. I don't want to lose it. I would like to stay like this as long as it possible. As long I recieve a blow of sadness or dissapointment. As long as it mellows down with the passage of time.
But for now, I wish to float.
WTF? What is it about? Why happy?
Oh oops, sorry dear reader. I 'almost' forgot to tell you why am being so happy n stuff. It may be nothing big to you or even next to nothing, but it's sort of quite crucial for my writing career. Today, results of on online short story contest I participated in 3 months back were announced, and I scored a winning position with my story in tie with another author. It's not the first place, it's sort of second place with a tie. Although I was partly lucky in this one, as they did not have many entries for this particular theme, but anyway, for me it's more than anything.
For winning this, I get a decent cash prize, a royalty contract for the inclusion in the Anthology (A Hard bound book with my name on title page with an author bio! Yummm!) and two free copies of the book. Plus some small bonuses. I had a poem published in another book and so I am expecting two published books in my hand at the end of this year. :)
Will give you links soon when it's printed, in case you are interested to buy and read the crazy-nooby stuff I write. But to avoid any mis-evaluation of my skills, let me tell you that am just a novice who is in fact a struggling writer when it comes to writing. And this contest was just one of the many contests that are conducted regularly. If you are also an aspiring writer, keep bouncing back here, as I will be coming up with some guides to the world of freelance writing and stuff as well. And yeah, that reminds me, I just recieved a due payment from a client today! It was like double scoup for me when I opened my email.
I am still striving and learning, keeping much bigger goals in mind. But any contest of a sort, even if small or big, gives you further confidence and motivation.
And that's all what I need right now. And yes your comments too!
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