Worry, Anxiety and Fear

There is worry. There is anxiety. There is fear.

And all sorts of related mixed emotions brew inside my mind as the final day approaches near. The day that will very much decide the outcome of two years hard work. Every passing second is going too slow. Too slow that I can feel it melting and vanishing before my senses.

And yet, sometimes, some minutes are just too fast. They click away ahead and I am left behind, closer to the end. The end which I hope will turn out to be good.

Everyone tells you, "Hey! Stay calm dude, it's really nothing. Just stay calm and relax.". Perhaps they forgot how calm they were when they went through this. Or maybe they have no idea how they serene will be when they will be standing in my shoes. When I will get past this thing, I will never give any of my friend this superficial advice of being calm. I will ask them to just go through it and be yourself. It's like if you are in a dark tunnel, you keep walking. You don't act calm etc. You have to walk and bear the darkness of the path.

A another great advice which one of my friends gave it was, "Keep yourself busy and you will never realize that the moment has come!"

I am really trying to do that. And gosh! It helps. Watch movies, seasons and write boring blog posts :) And Ta-Da, few hours click away. But as soon as the realization comes back, as soon as the senses perceive that lesser time is remaining, the fear strikes. The strike is sudden and cold. Cold like a silver knife penetrating your thick skin, inch by inch, on a lonely moonless night.

But whenever I am worried or tensed or anything of that sort, I try an old formula which usually works in most of the cases. You can try it on yourself but you got to be serious about it, if you want it to work well. It works for me, it's my mantra...Take a few seconds as you answer each question in your mind with eyes closed.

"Whenever in doubt or worry, ask yourself the following questions and you will find all your problems melting away.

Who are you? 
What is it that you are so afraid of? 
Does it even exist? Or is it all virtual, weaved by your own mind? 
Who are your enemies? 
Are they your enemies in the true sense? Or is it you who have tagged them as enemies? Are they not those great mountains or hurdles for which you prepared for so long? 

If you think deeply about the thing that scares or worries you the most and if you think from a tangential point of view, you will soon discover that, that thing doesn't even exist. It's just another creation of your own mind. It's YOUR mind that creates those monsters and then gives them wings. 

You are not weak. They are."

Hmm, re-reading this gives me a bit of relief and confidence. Confidence, yes that's the most important thing. So I guess I will go now and pack my bags n stuff. Oh yeah and all this while, I was talking about my Visa Interview which is scheduled on this Tuesday and I am leaving tomorrow for the city. If everything goes well, there mite be an elated post later down this week. If not, there will be a bit of silence. You will have to assume yourself then.

Signing off, hoping to get some good wishes from readers :)

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Anonymous said...

am very sure ur visa interview will be really good and I am already looking forward to read the elated post this week..
Give it ur best shot..
All the best..


Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Cant wait to hear the outcome, though I expect it will be nothing but good.
Positive thoughts and good wishes in my heart for you.

palak said...

best of luck :-) hope u get through ur visa interview.. my gud wishes are with you..:-)

Atlantis said...

Read your post on a forum -you-know-where- and came here. Boy! You have expressed yourself so well! All of us go through these times but never quite express them the way you did. Cheers for that!!

And hearty congratulations for the VISA!! The land of opportunities awaits you now.

K. Lonopin said...

Anxiety rubs against our thoughts until it creates an open wound in the soul. To some extent we do it to ourselves. We fail in the basics of eating, exercising and resting. Some dither until they must rush. Some multitask, doing nothing well.

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