What a Villager Expects from US of A

So as the day of escape(an illusion?) approaches near, I look forward to my expectations getting fulfilled.

This is totally me. Ofcourse. Stop zooming now. 
Before I begin with that list, let me tell you that my mom is kinda driving me nuts by daily asking for some new thing to buy or shop to take with me to the US. And I am kinda lazy, shopping-hating person who can happily move from one place to another with a bunch of undergarments and shorts occasionally. Hell, I don't even pack toothbrush at times when travelling. Cuz even if I do pack, I often forget to do the brushing thing. Hey now, now, we are revealing too much personal information here. Stop, stop.

So yes, as my mommy packs up my entire room in two and a half huge bags (not really as huge as compared to my peers, but huge as per the villager standards), I sit here, trying to remember what all I expect from the land of the opportunities..

1. Full time electricity/power?
Last night there were quite a few nice power cuts in my sad village. One for three hours and other small-small of two hours in the day. It's really nice when you have something important to do on your computer, electricity is not there and you can happily skip off that work and besides its true than when electricity goes off at night, you are not able to clearly see other people or things, but then again, bumping into someone or something, or furniture which has hard/pointed edges/corners in the middle of the night is also yet again another awesome experience which sadly the citizens of developed nations like US can hardly experience and so having power cuts is kinda great but still I wish in US there will be full time electricity.

2. Unlimited Internet?
In my village (remember every time I say village, I am not limited to the actual village I live in, half of the times, village = India) Internet is kinda quite slow. If I have to watch a video on youtube, I have to place a order first (open the link and allow to buffer) and then go have dinner, sleep etc and then come back to find that the video I wanted to see is finally fully loaded! Yay! (not to mention if a power cut happened all in this while, then your loaded video is gone and you back to square one. Congrats) But yes there are some companies which give faster internet and your video can buffer fast-fast, but then the download limit will be there which is kinda not cool, if you want to download a huge amount of data, sooner or later you will exceed that limit and your daddy will have to pay for your bills and perhaps your daddy will then slap your face or kick your ass whatever he spots first and so although I will miss all this very much, I expect US to have unlimited and ultra fast internet.

3. Coffee? 
I kinda have a myth or something that writers need some addictive coffee on their table to continue to write shit. I mean I am able to write shit anyway all the time. But wouldn't it be cool if I write shit AND drink coffee? Then I can always blame the coffee for the shit I wrote.

"Hey coffee sissy, its you making me write such bad stories n shit, screw you!" 

Would be so cool. And in my village, I don't get good real addictive coffee. All here I can get is some packed shit that doesn't even make me feel high. I have heard in US, coffee has a good variety and too much of it can really screw your life OR writing. SO I kinda expect that to happen.

4. Freedom?
Yeah, freedom is what is all about. I am not talking about the freedom to urinate or spit in public, that kinda freedom you can only have in my village. I am talking about other kinda freedom. You know? Freedom to live your life without any weird stares from people around you. Although I have lived in that freedom most of the time of my shitty life but it would be cool if other people like family, friends, dragons, demons, cats, dogs, mosquitoes, houseflies, bacterium stop bothering me by their dangerous glances they make whenever I do something new.

Hmmm, so that's what its all about. More or less. Can't remember more, but yeah there are plenty more. I think I should go brush now. Or perhaps take a bath. Or maybe none of them and fool around on the Internet with a foul breath in my mouth and few bacteria on my body and waste my day, as usual.

Anything you feel like saying, anything, any expectation you (reader) may have when going somewhere (or US or any country or any village for that matter) or anything that is entirely not related to the above post but not limited to dragonflies or zombies, you are welcome to comment. 

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Shivani said...

will read it.. it looks very interesting.. gotta go to college..

Shivani said...

Yaar, it is good to have expectations from the new place you will be moving to, but I don't like the way you talk about our country... :|
However, I enjoyed reading the post -specially your photograph ;-)

And you are right in stating all your expectations - coffee.. we will def. go to starbucks every other evening, and will hit the public library with the same frequency!!

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

If its half dressed hot women you're looking for.. you will love the USofA, especially now. We are enduring a hella heatwave!!

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