Driving With The Old Lady

 I had planned to take a second try at the driving test this Saturday morning so I figured I'll go to bed early on Friday night. But last night I slept late anyway. I just kept horsing around. Who the hell sleeps early on a Friday night?

So I woke up, got ready and all. Reached the driving license office an hour before it closes in the afternoon only to found that the nice receptionist I met last time was now replaced by some thin old lady. There was a bunch of old ladies in there. In fact, they are all really old. I stood in the queue behind this Chinese guy who was grilling with the receptionist. I overheard some snippets of their conversation:

"...an overspeeding ticket.." the receptionist was saying.
"..yeah...I was..." said the Chinese guy and smiled.
"...this...not funny..you got three tickets in one year" Receptionist looked kinda serious.

The Chinese guy still kept smiling like an idiot and I couldn't hear what he said.

"..banned from driving..for 6 months..if found again..heavy punishment.." finished the receptionist and signaled me to come forward.

That sure as hell was a nice morale booster for me. What a nice start before THE test. She did all the formalities and stuff and I was asked to wait before an officer (another old lady) called my name for the test. We strolled out and I tried to be all nice with her.

Anyway, so we went to my car and did the routine tests of the headlights and shit. C'mon they work all right, all right. I just bought this bitch, it sure works all right. I realized that she was the same officer who took my first test. I asked her if she remembered me. She said she wasn't really sure but she did remember the "Ganesha" statuette. Trust me, I'm a very religious type of person. I keep all these gods and goddesses with me all the time. I even sing a prayer before I leave the house. That's what like my mom would want me to be. And I'm totally that kind of person. No kidding. After few seconds she remembered all about my first test and I thought we were good to go.
People don't believe I'm an animorph. I still don't care. 

I drove nicely and didn't try to scare other nice people on the road. Everything was going fine when on this road, this stupid narrow road, some guy came jogging and hopping along from the front. On the goddamn road, for chrissake. You're supposed to jog and hop on the shoulder or pedestrian tracks. Not on the goddamn road. I wanted to yell at him at that moment only. And also why you wanna jog in -15 degree C? I mean, what the ****? But I calmed myself and did not do anything funny. Except that instead of giving him adequate space to hop around, I kinda steered around close to him, kinda scared him a lil' bit. That sure as hell pissed the old lady. I saw her hand, through the corner of my tricky eye, scribbling notes down her pad.

I was like, "C'mon. No kidding officer. It's his fault." I just didn't say it, though. So we horsed around a bit in the icy and busy streets before the test finished. I asked her while going back,

"So what do you think? Did I pass?" I saw down in her notepad and it had lotta scribbling done in'it.
"Let's go back to the parking lot and talk there. The test ain't finished yet, baby," she said.

BABY? I mean, BABY? All right. Whatever. OKAY So what I wanted to bring your attention to was this word "talk". Whenever, whenever, whenever, ANY CHICK in the goddamn universe, be it old or young, tells you, that she wants to "talk", you're screwed. You're so screwed, baby. Look who's talking anyway.

"We need to talk."

This is the end of everything. You can't reach anywhere after that. Relationships or driving tests, applicable for a wide range. Remember that.

So we returned to the parking lot and I was pretty depressed already. She began to explain from her notepad all the silly and technical mistakes that I did. She gave me a sort of 1 minute lecture on pedestrian safety and how could I have avoided screwing that section of the test up. I even wondered if that jogger was their secret employee or something. The notepad in her hand didn't look so pretty. And so I said,

"Hmm yeah. I screwed up bad. Damn..I need to practice more.."
"Yup. If you race like that, an accident is coming. I'm telling you that for sure, girl."

Thank GOD, she didn't say BABY this time. I hate baby. I hate babies, for that matter. I would have called her a baby if she was a bit younger but I did not want to get deported or something so I stayed low and nice.

"Okay, so thank you for your time, I'll try again some day." I am really nice, though.
"No, you can come inside, you got it."
"What? What didja say?"
"Your score is still fine, only a few reductions, but you passed."

Current Book: "Lord of The Flies" by William Golding
Current Music: "Yaar Anmulle" by Sharry Mann

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Shivani said...

Damn funny
i loved reading it
i threw away my headphones so that i could concentrate on it
and enjoy it
"i would have called her baby"
very funny
"that pedestrian - their secret employee"
ha ha ha ha
mujhe lagta hai teri cute shakal dekh k de diya, baby

Farah Alam said...


Anonymous said...

hehehe.. good one.. yes I too agree with the last line of the above post.. :D

Anonymous said...

yes.. :P

Shivani said...

cute!! :P.. i guess that was because you shampooed your hair that day, after like ages.. :P

Arkantos said...

hehe..nice account. I hope I also pass the test (will be taking it sometime soon). And I saw that you finished reading Catcher in the Rye and started with Lord of the Flies! Both of these are like legendary books (I've asked numerous questions about them in quizzes, but never read..LOL)

Quizzard said...

I think it's all a part of the Beiber fever, Baby. :P

How did it matter whether the receptionist was old or young ? You were thinking of alternate ways to pass ? :P

Congratulations, btw. :)

Hawk said...


Which car, btw?

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on passing, and on the Civic.
This was such a funny post! And you're completely right about the word 'talk'. :D

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