Swimming is too hard for me

Swimming is impossible for me. I just can't swim. I don't know why.


Swimming is one of those "staying healthy" evil schemes that I adopted this summer along with gym, yoga and other fitness classes. This is the only time that I can even think of such things, as once classes start in the Fall semester, I won't have any time. That's a good thing about studying in US, you get summer holidays. 4 months of summer vacation. But ofcourse smarter people work and earn money during this time. I'm just a fool horsing around.

Anyway, so yeah, I just can't swim. I have tried a few times, my friend who's teaching me, says it will take about 30-40 trials. But that's sad. I was hoping to learn it within 4-5 trials, assuming that I am a super genius and all. Turns out am not. Well, that's not a surprise. Happens with me a lot.

And I hate those shitty little kids swarming in the pool. They are swimming around so perfectly. Like naked little demons with wiggly sharp tails. They make me drown myself with shame - in the shallowest section of the pool. And there are about millions of them in that bloody pool. That's the worst part.

My back, oh Christ, my back, hurts. I have begun to believe now that due to the sins of past (Thanks Mr. Computer) my back has been irreparably damaged, and now it can't arch up the way it's required to in order to be able to be swim. And whenever I try to to be afloat and raise my legs to the water level, the spine yells like it's being tortured by a Chinese (Well, I love them though) and subsequently forces my old body to drown. Breathing under water isn't no chicks game either. Nevertheless, I kept trying.

I wasn't sure till today if any improvement had occurred. But you know what? Today I swam two laps, yeah two complete laps. So you see? You basically need determination, hard work, focus and all that similar kind of crap to be successful in life and of course you need to be a super-awesome genius, about which we both exactly know that how much we're kidding ourselves when it comes to such matters and illusions of grandeur.

(No, am kidding of course. I did swim but with a bunch of air bloated rubber props keeping me afloat. Which, is lame. I still can't do shit in water.)

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Current Book: "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley
Current Music: "I will find you" from The Last of the Mohicans.


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6 comments:

Anonymous said...

hahahaaaaa......... all the best and hope u learn to swim soooon !!

niranjn said...

LOL!I can empathize with you there. I have tried that often and failed miserably. Now all I can do is to float. I guess I hate the feeling of water entering my ears.

First time here. Will frequent more.

Arkantos said...

Ha! I tried swimming once. I almost drowned. Had that sick chlorine-infested water, all up my nose and all. Left me with a splitting headache and all that crap. Didn't have the balls to try it after that :P

Ahh..I see you have started reading the Brave New World. Whatta book, I say! The convo near the ending is GodLike!

Tanya said...

@Anony
Thanks mademoiselle.

@Niranjin
Oh well I'm generating empathy already. I guess sympathy isn't far. Thanks for liking the blog!

@Arkantos
Yes, I too hate when all the chlorine water fills up my guts. Yeah, I just started with that book, will let you know once I reach the end. I am wrapping up Fahrenheit 451 also side by side, so may take some time!

theiridescentobserver said...

hilarious, nicely written, and very true.... I too wasted my one whole summer for it, and still, I am a waste... hats off to the writer.... :)

Tanya said...

^^Oh no preciousss! That means we too will waste ourselves learning swimming. And thanks for the appreciation. I really am, I mean, I really am grateful for that kind phrase "hats off".

It's kind of non-existent in my life.

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