Here are the first emails that I received ever seeking free advice.

"Dear mighty-all knowing-amazon of the universe, (A standard greeting for me which wasn't included in reality)


Hello,.
Read your blog about advising
Can you advise me on my questions regarding relationship.


Thanks in advance."

This followed another email:

"Hello.
Actually I want to give her a valentine gift
help me urgently.


Thanks & Regards,
Mr. Random Romeo +91-98-------"

Dear Mr. Random Romeo,

Thankyou so much for contacting us for advice as its seldom that our views are sought by the public and once in a while, when they are, our soul is filled with so much of gratitude (and a slight shadow of embarrassment) that we can't exactly explain to you how it feels, but it must be enough for you to know that we feel and we feel much better. And now I should be focusing on your feelings (which are the concern at this moment), instead ranting away at an innocent fan seeking advice.

Well, in the matters of relationship and love, I mostly suck, but then the most awesome advice comes from all the suckiest corners of the world, so you are not in that bad of a receiving end. Uhm-uhm.When giving gifts to ladies or women or female creatures of any sort, soft toys, bunnies, stuffed lame animals (consider sheep) etc most of the times do the job and I hope that you're aware of this universal fact. Of course we shall not pretend that you're unaware of the power of expensive Jewellery but guessing by your emails and the tone of urgency I can predict that you're looking for smarter/cheaper options and "Jewellery" is certainly not what you want to hear. Certainly not.

Hmm, crossing out stuffed toys, Jewellery, you may consider the normal clothes or apparels from some branded showroom but then again you may be doomed if you mess up on the figure/size and that option may also devour your pocket. (Sorry, we don't know why we're sounding so stingy today, but if you can afford stuff, go ahead, get plenty of gifts for her, play safe)

Lastly, what "we" would like ideally from our valentine (in some lucky, parallel universe we might have a handsome valentine waiting for us) would not be something expensive bought from a fancy showroom* but it would be something personalized, something unique (here's the point where girls go vague and incomprehensible), something that wins our heart! Something crafted, moulded just for us and our relationship, even if that's as trivial as a couple of old pictures stapled together in the shape of a heart with golden frills/glitters all around, it would work, in a nut shell something which would show that my guy spent time and effort on making that gift, and making that valentine's day special for us, just for us.

Regards,
Tanya

*On a second thought, for us, expensive Jewellery would work just fine. Thanks.