How things come full circle?

I am at this super famous conference for 3 days and its funny how things are unfolding in my nascent research career.

SCENE #1: At the bar
Light lamps are dim, wine glasses are glowing. Tanya is somehow at the same table with Prof. Goswami (who is a demigod in her field) 

Prof. Goswami: So how are you Tanya. We met before right? Yes, yes I remember you. So are you finished with your masters?
Tanya: Umm, yeah. I'll be graduating this semester!
Prof. Goswami: You're not continuing to a PhD with Prof. X?
Tanya: Umm, I applied to a couple of places and am waiting for some and deciding on some, umm-
Prof. Goswami: Which ones are you deciding on?
Tanya: Uh, I got this fellowship from Awesome University and an offer from this school in Europe and am waiting from one more in UK, so -
Prof. Goswami: What? You should go work with ___ at Awesome. She was my PhD student you know. No, no, don't think about it. I told you. You must work with her, join Awesome at any cost. What will you do in Europe? Nothing. You can't live there forever. Stay in US. Look, you'll be associated with "Awesome's" brand once you graduate from there. Who will care about Europe? Here, you're confused, I know a guy from Europe. He was in Europe earlier. Let me fetch him. Hey, JJJ, tell this young lady, why Awesome is better than ___ at Europe.
JJJ: Well, it depends what the young lady wants from her life.
Tanya: Uh-um-uh, I-I-
Prof. Goswami: She's confused of course. She's young and doesn't know what's good for her. I'm just telling her, Awesome would be much better for her career.
JJJ: Well, Goswami, if that's what you want me to speak, I'll yield. But its really her choice.

Prof. Goswami laughs and exits. Tanya moves to talk to JJJ in private. A professor from Awesome university who's interested in Tanya lurks in background, overhearing everything. Tanya feels uncomfortable with all the unwanted attention and escapes the scene with a crushed tissue paper on which lies written JJJ's email.

SCENE #2: At a meeting
All participating elves are from the Awesome University. 

Elf_1: So, did you hear back from any school?
Elf_2: Oh, you were one of those visiting candidates, are you getting anywhere?
Tanya: Yeah, um, they're giving me a fellowship!
Elf_3 scoffs.
Elf_2: Oh really?
Elf_1: What's the deal? How much?
Tanya is red cheeked and speaks after much hesitation.
Elf_3 scoffs.
Elf_2: That's what I got as well, a while ago. Hmph.
Elf_1: So you're coming to Awesome right?
Tanya: Um, well, I'm kind of waiting on this Europe one. And -
Elf_3: What? You're not sure about joining Awesome? Huh.
Elf_3 scoffs again and exits.
Tanya: How's the sessions going on for you guys anyway? Which ones you attended?
Elf_2: I went to X, Y and that..that. Z.
Elf_1: I went to A, B, and C, D.
Tanya: So um, you guys don't, like, attend together? I have no one here from my university :(, but we used to kind of go all together in common sessions. I can join you in whichever one you're gonna go, if you like.
Elf_1 and Elf_2 exchanged a condescending look, scoffed and left Tanya alone.

SCENE#3: In the hotel room
Tanya sits facing the glass wall in her hotel room on the 17th floor, looking out in the shining downtown. 

Tanya: Things don't seem right. I don't know why. I should be happy. I have got an awesome offer from
the Awesome University. I'm finally getting a chance to leave behind Prof. X and my Jaali university. But things appear so strange. The people at Awesome, they are kind of so bitchy. They are this, really, elvish people, you know. Really competitive, and with no emotion whatsoever. But elves were supposed to be nice and kind. Maybe only the wood elves. I don't know, frikking orcs they are. They would kill the other guy to get their paper published and stuff. They have this stench of rivalry emanating from their soul. I don't know if I can live in that kind of environment. And then US is also getting on my nerves. I'ven't seen much of it but whatever I've seen haven't turned out as rosy as I had hoped it to be. It's too pompous and glitzy. Nothing real really.

And I remember, exactly two years from now when I had applied to Awesome University for Masters degree, they rejected me. Rejected like I was some lame shit. Perhaps I was. Perhaps I still am. But now they want me. They want me like anything. And I had figured, it would be a nice ending to the story that first they rejected me and then after my hard work and subsequent attempt they would accept me. But then, somehow the story's climax isn't as good as it should be. Something's missing. Something.

They rejected me once. I guess now it's my turn. It's I who should now reject their offer. What if I? Perhaps go Europe, you know. Future will be uncertain after going there. Entering US will be much harder then. But that's fine. At least the story would be nicer. Rejection replied with rejection. And then things will come to a full circle. It will make sense.

Lights go out and Tanya's silhouette is last seen staring out in the North-East. Outside her window, the city is still alive and vibrant in its illusive light and false music.  

Current Book: "Selected Stories" by Edgar Allan Poe
Current Music: "Nadaan Parindey" from Rockstar

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Neeraj Kumar said...

may you always feel good with whatever decision you take.

banti said...

-Good piece of information.


Its ok , Its good .
But how come you get into these situations every now and then
U have a roller coaster ride !!!

umashankar said...

You introduced adventure, intrigue and the vague fear of the unknown at right moments. Revenge may or may not have been the missing piece of the puzzle but deliverance from a shady lot was gratifying. Was it all an allegory of sorts?

Tanya said...

Yes, uma it had a lot of my own personal allegories n stuff. Just penned them for future reference. It will be great when I will be old and I will come back to dig the archive.

Thanks for your insightful view...

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